FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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