Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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