Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i out mim tonsoeep
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
