Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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