i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
