She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
