I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
