Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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