i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
