We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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