Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...

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(315): View more from New York

careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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(240): View more from Maryland

the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm getting married

(910): View more from North Carolina

To pizza

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