Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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