"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize