I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
