Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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