I didn't shave. On purpose
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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