Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
