There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
