fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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