I cockslap morals
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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