I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
