my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
