If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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