i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
