WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i now understand why vodka
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
