Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize