ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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