let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
