yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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