this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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