He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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