Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
