I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
