I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
