There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
