sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
where are my eyebrows?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
