My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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