he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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