Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a hot homeless man
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
