we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just invented taco cereal.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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