Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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