just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
