I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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