i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize