No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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