apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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