so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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