I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
