My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
