also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
