I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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