are you still at the devil's house?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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