then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
