I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
