piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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