My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Damn victory sex feels great
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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