He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
