i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
