Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
