just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
God, I missed his penis.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
