According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
