I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize