So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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