you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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