Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
