I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
